Well, we have had Chase on the medication to avoid constipation and we have been avoiding all dairy. At least every other day, usually daily, he has a meltdown. I think he is getting so gassy, bloated, and crampy that it is makinghim miserable. Today he carried on for 3 hours. I really really try to be 100% understanding and caring, but when this happens everyday, it REALLY wears you down. I cannot begin to explain how it feels to watch him do this day in and day out. Today was as bad as the day we took him to the ER, he was flailing around like a wild man just screaming. It was like he just felt helpless and did not know what to do. I offer to do anything I can, but he always just says, I don't know what I want. If I try to hold him, he wants me off, it is sad.
So during this time, I was trying to get the camera to tape him to possibly show his doctors how he gets. He was screaming and jumping up and down going from the couch to the floor to walking around, he looked terrified. It was like he had no idea what to do and needed something quick. As soon as I turned my back to get the camera, I heard a loud sound like a balloon popping and he instantly stopped crying and said, "Mommy, I pooped." When he was crying so was I and he said, "Please don't cry Mommy, it makes me sad."
Well, once he had gone poop, I was hugging him after his bath and started crying again. He said, "Don't cry Mommy, I am happy now, my tummy feels better." I tried to explain that I am sad knowing that he hurts so much, but of course he doesn't understand.
Of course I am exhausted physically because whenever this happens he wants to be held some then put down some. Then once he finally goes, I have to lift him in the tub to remove the pull up because it is an absolute mess, then we have to do the shower and get redressed. All this is done while trying to wrestle a one year old to stay out of the poo. The physical exhaustion is hard, but the mental/emotional exhaustion is much worse.
I know it has to be getting old to him too. He is old enough that he is getting embarassed as well, and a couple times this has happened around older kids and they don't get it. I am afraid they will start teasing him before long and that is the last thing he needs. Sometimes the adults are worse than the kids. Everyone has their opinions on the matter of course and I hear everything from, "Give him to me for a week, I'll have him going on the toilet" to "Pooping in diapers is for babies, are you a baby?" During this situation, that is not what he nor myself needs.
So, I know I have said it over and over, but I am a FIRM believer in the power of prayer, especially in numbers....please pray for his healing and for him to overcome whatever fear he has. For me, I really need strength and patience to help him through all of this. I do not want to make him feel any worse than he already does. Thanks!
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6 comments:
Poor Chase. Poor Heather. Deep breaths and positive thoughts, and this will soon be a distant memory. Find peace in the fact that every adult you know is potty trained!
This is true, I just worry about the physical damage and bad bowel habits he is causing. I KNOW we will beat this, it is just really challenging in the process, especially when I am cleaning him and Cole comes in the bathroom wrapped in the "clean up" towel!!!! NICE!
awww! you poor things! Sounds like he is in pain. I know you have received so much advice--and I have NO experience here--and this book may be crap--and you've probably heard of it but its "potty training in one week" by Gina Ford....The title makes grand claims but some people said it helped them. Of course, the mommy always knows her babies best and babies don't fit into books (but writing about babies sure does sell books to desperate parents!!!)
Main thing is, I think it is mostly a psychological deal. However at his age, his MD isn't sure whether a psychiatrist would help or not because at the age of three, they just don't really know how to answer the questions being asked to them. I think once I catch up on the medical bills, I am going to give it a shot anyway, or I will be institutionalized very soon!
I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Poor Chase! I HATED potty training. I introduced Jonah to the potty at 18mos. Two years later I gave up after trying EVERYTHING. That's when Jonah came to me totally on his own and said, "I have to go to the potty." And that was it. He was potty trained. He had some bad bouts of constipation too, but nothing like Chase. He would cry and say his rear hurt. I discovered popcorn (a good source of fiber) really helped him and would give him some everyday. I'll keep little Chase (and you!) in my prayers.
How's everything going? Better I hope! I'll contrinue to keep you guys in my prayers!
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